It is a word that best describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on others. Seems I died in 1543. I’m really good in bed. Light travels faster than sound. 3.1K likes. So when I see someone post something stupid I can like it, and it will say âNobody Likes Thisâ. Funny Barney Stinson Facebook Updates Statuses ... knows it's hot when when the geese in the park come in "original recipe" and "extra crispy." or. Connect with friends, family and other people you know. Alcohol! What can you do to promote world peace? Facebook should have a âNo One Caresâ button. Girls use Photoshop to look beautiful. I am on a seafood diet. All of this funny Facebook status and funny Facebook quotes has a variety of use. Iâve officially been diagnosed with OFCD (Obsessive Facebook Checking Disorder). Make your facebook page interesting every day with a best facebook status. I donât have a girlfriend. Not everyone wants to see you happy. Create New Account. It’s time to be famous around your Facebook community as well give a reason to your friends and followers to have a good laugh by posting a hilarious facebook status. I might as well call you Google because you have everything that I am looking for. FaceBookStatus123 is the place to read best Facebook status messages. Alcohol doesn’t solve any problem, but neither does milk. 691 people like this. As long as cocoa beans grow on trees, chocolate is fruit to me. Ramener un peu de gaité. 30 funny Facebook status updates 1) This student should get an extended deadline for their brutal honesty, and the teacher who posted the status should maybe shave his mustache. Life is short, smile while you still have teeth. ColorMag is magazine style responsive WordPress theme made for simplicity and ease of use. If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer…. Never challenge a guy to an arm-wrestling match who’s been single for more than 6 months. Funny Facebook Status: This is the best ever post of Funny Facebook Status for all the Facebook users out there. First rule of Sundays: If you canât reach it from your couch, you donât need it. That way you can successfully make a good copy of facebook that will look exactly alike the original. Find a funny Facebook status to use for yourself. I’m going to invent a new pill called Niagra that stops erections. Community See All. I want to make my name on Facebook âNobodyâ. In modern politics, even the leader of the free world needs help from the sultan of Facebookistan. Kiss me and you will see how important I am. Children in the back seat cause accidents, accidents in the back seat cause children! Newman to this day calls Zuckerberg a “prodigy”. The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream. Build your own fake Facebook Status and prank your friends. Sheryl Sandberg is chief operating officer at Facebook, overseeing the firm's business operations. Iâve gone out to find myself. Not Now. Share photos and videos, send messages and get updates. جميع اشياء Facebook is showing information to help you better understand the purpose of a Page. Dernière mise à jour le 6 septembre 2019 à 10:08 par Jean-François Pillou. It was founded by Mark Zuckerberg with his college roommates and fellow Harvard University students Eduardo Saverin, Andrew McCollum, Dustin Moskovitz and Chris Hughes. Nerd flirting: I wish I could select all of your clothes and press delete. We all know youâre doing it for attention and we all know that youâll be back! Funny status ideas. Fuck عاالم See more of Statut original on Facebook Don’t worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet. Facebook is kind of like a prison. If you can fake that, you’re in. Copier-Coller les statuts facebook/tweets les plus originaux, droles et insolites ! If I don’t log into Facebook two days in a row, call the police, someone must’ve kidnapped me! 15+ Different Unique Demos for any kind of magazine sites. Travel the world until your Facebook’s check-ins finished! Itâs like a normal shower but with me in it. Iâd really post your name here every minute if Facebook keeps on asking me whatâs on my mind. Enjoy on this social platform with your friends living near or far. Originally developed as Facebook Chat in 2008, the company revamped its messaging service in 2010, and subsequently released standalone iOS and Android apps in August 2011. Quick Replies are failing to render on Messenger & Instagram across all clients. You spend all day staring at walls and getting poked by people you donât know. Whenever you want to post a Facebook status for your profile picture, selfie captions, videos or making funny Facebook posts, make it sure to be creative to choose something interesting and clever or funny. I wonât block you or delete you. If people are talking behind your back, then just fart. In its new-found spirit of transparency, Facebook is publishing its internal Community Guidelines and is introducing an appeals process for users … May only be used for personal use. Come over to the dark sideâ¦weâve got candy. Do not argue with an idiot. Delete me, Poke me, Like me, Limit me … The choice is yours … Welcome to Facebook, where no one is really your friend. Mark Zuckerberg took the first steps of his path at an early age. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. Ready made material is available here. I love being married. A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. I did the math. Log In. Of course I have a talent. Thatâs cool. If youâre not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light bulb in the refrigerator? âYep, gravity still works!â. That awkward moment when you change your Facebook status to “Single” and your ex likes it. Some people need to realize that Facebook is a social network, not a diary. If I should arrive before I get back, please ask me to wait. But I do know a woman whoâd be mad at me for saying that. My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesnât work that way. Je vous propose de découvrir plus 50 statuts Facebook drôles et comiques qui vont faire délirer vos amis à coup sûr. Worst transformer ever. Whenever you need some funny Facebook status lines to make funny Facebook posts or funny status updates these funny Facebook quotes will help you the most. Sometimes I sleep more than 9 hours in one go. Facebook Messenger is an instant messaging service and software application. Because no great story started with someone eating a salad. Iâd rather check my Facebook than face my checkbook. I know what youâre doing right nowâ¦ Youâre reading on my wall, Right! I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning. Boys use Photoshop to show their creativity. Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. 9 out of 10 voices in my head say that Iâm crazy. So enjoy your life with your friends! Itâs so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. Commenting on best status quotes fills the day with fun. Les meilleurs statuts pour profil. © 2019, fbstatuses123.com All Rights Reserved. ... http://facebook-statuts.blogspot.com 37 talking about this. My ex-girlfriendâs status said suicidal and standing on the edge. Sharing the sad feelings can reduce the burden of heart, share sad status on facebook to let your friends know that you are feeling sad. I mean, these days itâs easy to have 1,500 friends that youâve never met before. The best funny status ideas and updates. Iâm keeping you there so you will be able to see how happy I am without you. Facebook is like the prison, you write on walls and get poked by people you donât know. I hate it when my body decides to get sick. Commenting on best status quotes fills the day with fun. Perfectly choosing the status for Facebook is really important to make a bang on your Facebook profile. je fait que des stutut pub et des avis de photo Solve it. A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory. This generator is in no way associated with Facebook. Who needs television when you have so much drama on Facebook. I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you. Unless youâre a serial killer. The father is Nutella. Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don’t have the film. Itâs a good way to connect with your friends. Turn around. I swallowed an ice cube yesterday and I haven’t pooped it out yet. Got a problem with me? The tenth is humming. The lesson is, never try. The only reason why 30 guys liked your picture is that they can see right down your shirt. 12K likes. Stop advertising your relationship on Facebook. Si vous en avez marre des statuts chialeurs et tristes ! May You Need : Funny Jokes for Facebook Post. Les meilleurs statuts Facebook . Oh, youâre popular on Facebook? Créer du contenu original (même aussi minime qu’un statut Facebook) est difficile. Statut Pub - Original. Save a boyfriend for a rainy day â and another, in case it doesnât rain. Please pray for me. Avoir une opinion implique de penser à une position concernant la prémisse ou le concept. Me and my bed are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up. Canât face me? Canât stand me? If you were able to believe in Santa Claus for 8 years, you can believe in yourself for 5 minutes. Cela implique que la personne doit penser, organiser les mots et donner l’apparence d’une structure qui exprime une idée ou une opinion. I don’t have an iPad. Community. If you had to decide between a diet and a piece of chocolate, would you prefer dark, white or milk chocolate? amusons-nous à partager le délire parce que NOUS, nous savons! I say, anyone can catch your eye but it takes someone special like me to catch your heart. But I do have the biggest heart to love you with. Whether they like it or not. Iâm wondering why logging onto Facebook has become a part of the everyday routine?â¦ Do I really have nothing better to do! Facebook Messenger could soon automatically tell your closest friends you’re at the gym, driving or in Tokyo. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you. The kids next door challenged me to a water balloon fight. Iâm self-employed. Apart from using funny Facebook status updates, you can also post clever ones. Clearly understanding the importance of coding, Zuckerberg’s father Edward taught him Atari BASIC computer programming. When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark. Quitting Facebook is the new adult version of running away from home. I was s*exually harassed at work by my boss. Log into Facebook to start sharing and connecting with your friends, family, and people you know. Ready made material is available here. Forgot account? How to use status quo in a sentence. If your relationship status says, âItâs complicatedâ then you should stop kidding yourself and change it to âSingleâ. Saturday, September 22, 2012. A broad smile is a cooler way of showing your enemies that you have teeth. Here we keep adding the best facebook status ever and quotes. La page est mise à jours régulièrement ! Sit back down. Clever Facebook status. Think Iâm tripping? There is a lot of information online about this process, so take some time to investigate before you try the phishing method in order to hack facebook account online now. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back. Stay safe, eat cake. It is possible to communicate an important message without necessarily using too many words. Facebook is a social networking service launched as TheFacebook on February 4, 2004. But I donât really mind. You can use them as funny DP caption, funny text, hilarious Facebook posts even as funny Facebook comments or Facebook story. Accept who you are. Search random posts or submit your own. I’m going to open a new Facebook account named ‘Anonymous’ so all the cool quotes will be attributed to me! According to my mirror I am pregnant. I’m jealous of my parents, I’ll never have a kid as cool as them. You can change ANYTHING, use emoticons and even upload your own profile photos for post and comments. Facebook is showing information to help you better understand the purpose of a Page. Not everyone has good taste. Also, you can use these funny Facebook statuses for your selfies, profile pictures and funny Caption for Facebook. You always need a Facebook status that everyone will like. So I poked her. About See All. If you send me a friend request on Facebook and your profile picture is a car, I will assume youâre a transformer. I’m sorry that I’m not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse. Long time ago I used to have a life until someone told me to create a Facebook account. Over the years, Facebook has released new apps on a variety of different operating systems, launched a dedicated website interface, and … You’re born free, then you’re taxed to death. It’s spam. Weather forecast for tonight: Dark with a chance of tomorrow in the morning. An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough. Create an account or log into Facebook. I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones… that’s why it’s called a “cell” phone. Quotes et statut algerian | See more about تصميمي, ﻋﺮﺑﻲ and كﻻم Page Transparency See More. Sometimes I wish life was like facebook, you can delete anyone off your page and go back and delete everything you have said and done! Itâs okay if you donât like me. Here we have compiled some of the best and humorous quotes as the new funny status that you will love to post on your Facebook profile. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. Originally designed for college students, Facebook was created in 2004 by Mark Zuckerberg while he was enrolled at Harvard University. If you can’t see the bright side of life, polish the dull side. I always take life with a grain of salt â¦plus a slice of lemon â¦and a shot of tequila. FaceBookStatus123 is the place to read best Facebook status messages. pratiquement tout les jours.Un petit "j'aime" en contribution merci :) This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 30 dog, seconds dog! All graphical material is protected by the copyright owner. I think Iâm gonna take a hot shower. Facebook is where hypocrisy, falseness, double standards, rumors, and depression meet up for coffee. 514 likes. If my life was an action movie, my boss would be the spy trying to sabotage my mission, and my mission would be going on Facebook. Funny Status Messages - Funny Tweets & Funny Captions, 100+ Caption For Friends - Touchy, Funny and Best Friend Captions, Funniest WhatsApp Status - Short & Funny Quotes for WhatsApp, 100 King Status and King Captions in English, Swag Bio for Instagram – Short, Classy & Trendy, One Word Caption – Best Single Word Captions, Birthday Captions for Yourself – Happy Birthday To Myself. Sometimes I drink water – just to surprise my liver. I’m really scared, you guys. 101K likes. I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. 244 likes. This is why some people appear bright until they speak. The Collection of Funny Facebook Status Updates The world's greatest collection of Funny Facebook status updates. If you ever get an email about pork, ham, salt, and preservatives, don’t open it. People who smile while they are alone used to be called insane until we invented smartphones and social media. Status, Captions & Quotes for Facebook, Whatsapp & Instagram. Tie my shoes. Enjoy! Funny Facebook Status: This is the best ever post of Funny Facebook Status for all the Facebook users out there. Go home and love your family. Facebook is showing information to help you better understand the purpose of a Page. 103K likes. You donât have to like me, Iâm not a Facebook status. His father ran a dentists out of the hou… Thanks to Facebook, I now know what everyoneâs bathroom looks like! The Poke option is okay, but when is Facebook going to come out with a Punch option? Facebook is a social networking site that makes it easy for you to connect and share with family and friends online. Roses are red, Facebook is blue, No mutual friends, Who the hell are you? The slogan will be: “Viagra Rises, Niagra Falls! I donât have the prettiest face for you to see or the skinniest waist for you to hold. A user's Facebook status may be updated using the "Update Status" bar that appears at the top of the user's homepage and profile page. It didn’t take long for his skills to become apparent. Facebook is asking, âWhatâs on your mind?â but I think âWhoâs on your mind?â is a better question. I have also been told that I am beyond cure. Single is not a status. I made my Facebook name “Benefits,” so when you add me now it says “you’re friends with benefits.”. My relationship is like an iPad. Prior to Facebook, Sheryl was vice president of Global Online Sales and Operations at Google, chief of staff for the United States Treasury Department under President Clinton, a management consultant with McKinsey & Company, and an economist with the World Bank. Within a couple of years, Zuckerberg created an incredibly practical programme: ZuckNet. Adding you as my friend doesnât mean I like you, I did it just to increase my friend list. Enjoy on this social platform with your friends living near or far. Iâm just updating my status while waiting for the water to boil. STATUT PUB. Facebook is a good way to connect with your friends and family living at far off places. You can get the best status facebook to share it on your facebook profile. I see food, and I eat it. They say every piece of chocolate you eat shortens your life by 2 minutes. If I wanted to commit suicide, I would climb up to the height of your ego and jump down to your IQ level. Make your facebook page interesting every day with a best facebook status. Statut family. â¦ Now read without the word dog. Need something cool to say because you just slipped and fell? Penser est difficile. A Facebook status is a feature that allows users to post and share a small amount of content on their profile, on their friends' walls and in Facebook news feeds. ليس كُل ﻣآ أكتبه حِكآيهٌ عَنْ وآقعيٌ إنمَآ هِيَ ( كلِمَآتٌ ) رآقَتٌ لِيً ♥ وقدَ ﯾـحتَآجھَآ غِيري Honesty is the key to a relationship. Our Facebook status messages help to appear interesting so, make your fb status different from the others. The more you weight the harder you are to kidnap. When he was 11, his parents hired a software developer named David Newman to tutor him. Status quo definition is - the existing state of affairs. See more of Statut Pub Original on Facebook. Statut original. 747 people follow this. If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button. By these you can share your thinking with your friends. Don’t tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon. Statut original, المحمدية. Statut pub original, Pinon, Picardie, France. My neighbors are listening to great music. So enjoy your life with your friends! Whenever you need some funny Facebook status lines to make funny Facebook posts or funny status updates these funny Facebook quotes will help you the most.